I'm going to separate out two threads that are running through my life right now; elsewhere I'll write about sending our first child off to college.
At our university, we spend the week before classes in meetings to plan for the coming year. Because of my sleep apnea, I have trouble staying awake for meetings that don't actively involve me. Today I am leading two meetings, and the contrast between fearful anticipation and satisfaction in leading is very sharp. I'm better now at preparing for things that I am responsible for, and there is a good deal of pay-off. I still struggle with my insecurities---who am I to lead this group? That will probably never go all the way away.
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