Planning Week

I'm going to separate out two threads that are running through my life right now;  elsewhere I'll write about sending our first child off to college.

At our university, we spend the week before classes in meetings to plan for the coming year.  Because of my sleep apnea, I have trouble staying awake for meetings that don't actively involve me.  Today I am leading two meetings, and the contrast between fearful anticipation and satisfaction in leading is very sharp.  I'm better now at preparing for things that I am responsible for, and there is a good deal of pay-off.  I still struggle with my insecurities---who am I to lead this group?  That will probably never go all the way away.

It's Only July but Summer's Gone

Not much productive time left.  Six more work-days (including days where I commute with my son on his short work-days and when I need to be home for the exterminator), then a conference, family visit, then planning week meetings.

It's not been a bad summer.  It's been good spending time with our son before he goes off to college.  My conference talk is done. I just can't seem to focus much on my class preparation.

I wish my to-do list wasn't so long . . .

Summertime and the Worries Come Easy

Summer is flying by.  I never enjoy summer, given my high expectations of what I will accomplish.

Like many of my colleagues and students I do function better with a panic-Adrenalin rush, and move much more slowly during the summer without that rush.

Slow Summer Workdays

I am several weeks into the summer break.  I am moving so slowly at work without the adrenaline terror that prompts me throughout the academic year. I'd like to think that I am more contemplative but I know that I am just not as focused as I would like to be.

Life in the Slow Lane

It was very very busy, and now it's not.  When school ends for our kids there will be car pooling logistics and eventually summer travels but right now I have control over my schedule to a large degree.  I don't feel closure yet on the 2014-2015 academic year---reports to right, household chores deferred.  I am getting things done, but the list is long.

Eventually the loneliness will sink in---so few people around here at work.

Last Day of Classes

Even though it is a relief, especially in the Spring semester, to come to the end of classes, it still feels bittersweet.  It works well for me to use the last class meeting to summarize and then answer questions for the final exam.  It is decidedly not a triumphant feeling.  I and the students all seem to be completely drained.

Graduation is worse---saying goodbye to students I've worked with for four years.

Committee Work

I have done a lot of committee work in my career.  This confuses me since I am an introvert, and yet I find myself drawn to procedural solutions to problems that I care about.  That seems inevitably to lead to committee work, and ultimately, leadership.  I've spent over half of my career being chair of something, whether a department or a committee.

I've got good procedural reflexes and my integrity is pretty good;  people trust me more often than not.