One Fewer Organ

While traveling at a conference, I had what I thought were the symptoms of an intestinal virus. Upon returning home I was diagnosed with gallstones that were blocking some ducts as well as a diseased gallbladder.

Their removal was my first non-elective surgery. I can't say that the hospital stay was enjoyable but it wasn't horrific either. As it became easier for me to think clearly I sat and read at a table. Starting up my digestive system again after a couple of weeks off has been interesting but it could have been much worse.  I look forward to working out at the gym again (as of tomorrow) and building back some stamina.

It looks as if I'll have to pay somewhere between $500 and $1000 for the surgery after the insurance does its thing. I am blessed with good health insurance, and keenly aware of how many of my fellow citizens would have had their lives altered to pay for the surgery.

Overworked

It's been over four months ere last I wrote here. The Fall semester was overwhelming in ways that I did not anticipate.

The coursework (three preparations) was intense but not unusually so. I didn't feel able to focus on my committee responsibilities.  I suspect the issue had to do with concerns for my kids.

Both kids have had serious struggles with depression, and now both are at university. My younger child in particular had serious issues that even when I didn't drop everything to help still managed to drain me.

Once More Into the Breach

Our planning meetings for the new academic year begin tomorrow, with classes beginning a week from Tuesday.  It's a bit more complicated this year as we face the empty nest. We dropped off our daughter yesterday, took her to church this morning, and that's that. I'll drive our son back to his last year at university next weekend.

It's a busy time, without much opportunity for contemplation, but I've had plenty of time for contemplation this summer (whether or not I used it well). I'm ready to start another year.

Rolling With It

Last week while visiting my in-laws, my mother-in-law fell and broke her wrist. My wife went with her in the ambulance to a nearby hospital and I followed in our car.  We were in the ER for about three hours at most.  The following day I drove 530 miles.

My father told me more than once when I was young that "you do what you have to". This seems like a Depression-era kind of comment, that times are often bad and there isn't much point in dwelling on it or panicking; you just keep going and do the best that you have to.

I've assimilated a lot of lessons like that from my father without much intention on my part. It's a choice I guess, but it's been a useful one. I don't think of myself as superhuman but God's been good and I haven't faced challenges as bad as those that have faced many others.

I know and live with folk who do dwell in the sheer horror of the moment, which can always be found. Sometimes I do that when I have too much time on my hands, but I'm grateful that in the moment I've been able to focus more on problem-solving.

My two children both seem to handle crises well in the same way; their issues are more long-term and that does get them low at times. I think modeling behavior during crises is probably one of the real jobs of parenting, moreso than giving advice.

Recovery Time

The older I get, the longer it takes me to recover from abusing my body. That's what I do, during the academic year, abuse my body. I sleep little, work every moment, over-dose on caffeine, cut back on exercise, eat for comfort instead of hunger.

I still don't feel very awake and its been over three weeks since graduation. This term I had several students who were abusive about their grades, and that overshadows the memories (for right now at least) of the good work that I did with their classmates.

As usual the number of times that I can't do my own thing to drive my kids around, take them to doctors, stay home for house repairs, etc. makes my locus of control feel very external.

At least I've made a good, leisurely start on my class preparation for the Fall.

Final Exams

I've given all my final exams and graded over half of them. I'm always torn between feeling that I've been too easy and that I've been too hard on my students.  I won't have any perspective on it for weeks.

End of Term

Tons of grading, students wanting to meet, emails, very fatigued mentally and physically.