Feeling Ahead

I seem to be making good steady progress on both my class preparation and some writing.  I suspect the main reason is not being chair anymore;  the last six January's were full of annual evaluations, looking for adjuncts, changing schedules, etc.  It's not just the time committed to these tasks---it was the attention that they took away from my individual work.

I may want to be chair again someday but I really do need to experience a lack of responsibility for others for a while.

Major Conference

Well, I've made it to San Diego for five days.  A major conference---a mix of talks but enough of them to provide a bunch of good talks.  A chance to give my own talk.

Also a chance to be on my own and not responsible for others.  Such a nice change.

Holiday Recovery

I'm back for our annual holiday trip to visit family.  It went mercifully quickly.  My mind keeps racing (caffeine) and the slow pace of sitting around waiting for people to get ready to do things drives me up a wall, as does sitting around listening to people talk about things that have nothing to do with me.

This trip is always followed by the Joint Mathematics Meetings, which is a nice time for me to be alone, to go where I want when I want, etc.  A brief internal locus of control.

Things Going Well

Grades are in.  I feel ready for the Joint Mathematics Meetings, including progress on my talk.  Now that I'm not chair this period is remarkably stress-free.

Still feel constrained---colonoscopy yesterday, setting up orthodontist visit for son, other appointments---wish I actually had a clear schedule.

Still---it has been worse and I'm grateful that it's better.

Mid-Finals

Two final exams given and graded.  So far only a couple disappointed students, no actual anger just sadness.  One more final exam to give and grade.

The exams do give closure to the term.  Now is the time to focus on things that take attention between terms and to start to look ahead to prepare for the next term.

As happens every year, I feel a mess physically though not too bad mentally.  Body aches something awful.

Classes Ending

I think I'll make it.  I don't know why that's ever in doubt.  I've been teaching for decades now, and I've never not made it.  Sometimes the results are not what I hoped for, but nothing bad has happened.

So, I've got my last class preparation done, grading is current, I'm getting my final exams written, I've had a paper accepted.  For whatever reason I seem to have this crisis mentality driving me.  It would be healthier if I could maintain my productivity without it.  More truthful---I really don't deal with many crises.

End Days

The period after Thanksgiving Break is when all must come to a conclusion.  So many trade-offs in terms of content. It will fly by.