One month done

We made it to October.  The semester has been a blur.  I think that I am making all my deadlines but I also feel overwhelmed.

I'm not sure why exactly.  I don't think that I'm anxious about missing some important details or tasks.  The volume is huge but I think that I've been prioritizing well.  The uncertainty each day as to how much unscheduled time that I will have to do my work is a large part of it.

Back Again Again

I keep losing this task on my to-do list.

I'm fifty now.  That should be a milestone of sorts, and I did encourage everyone around me to treat it that way, if only to get some attention.  But I feel weary and have for years now.  Turning fifty didn't change that.  Sleep apnea, obesity, and diabetes did.

I really want to be able to have a clear thought again.  Stepping down as department chair will help---it will certainly decrease the quantity of tasks.   That'll be a first step.

End of Summer

There are less than two weeks left before we start our planning meetings, with classes beginning the Tuesday after that.  Summer is ending for me.

All my summers involve frustration that I don't get as much done as I hoped.  This summer I think was the worst.  I think I made a sustained effort daily without much traction.  Staffing appears to be set.  I am not ready for my classes.  I am now working on a zero-th draft of a paper.  There are many departmental issues yet to be resolved.

Next summer I won't be department chair, so my load will be lightened.  Seeing that coming is diminishing my enthusiasm for the chair tasks at hand.  Senioritis of a form I guess.

Staffing

I've made an offer that's been accepted by what I believe is my last hire for the Fall adjunct staffing.  Afterward I had a burst of energy about follow-up details.  Then someone pulled the plug on my brain and I struggled for over an hour not to fall asleep.  I think I would have felt better napping for an hour---being more in control of the situation I guess.

There are many possible pitfalls remaining that I would prefer not to dwell upon.  For right now I am glad that it is over.

Adjunct Staffing

I like working with our department's adjuncts, which may be why hiring adjuncts is the greatest stressor in my job.  Every summer that I am chair I need to work to staff sections.

Our long-term adjuncts are pretty self-sufficient.  The new ones that we have hired in past years have been problematic.  Two years ago the new fall adjuncts both had to be let go for poor performance.  It was painful.

I have two conflicting pressures from administration:  to hire excellent teachers but not to offer them a full load that would require benefits.  Having taught part-time I understand how important benefits are.

Last time for me---next summer it is someone else's responsibility.

Scout Camp

Our son left for Scout Camp for a week (leaving Sunday noon, return Saturday morning).  This changes our family dynamic in subtle ways.

Primarily our daughter is freed from her sibling rivalry and competing for attention.  In times past this has relaxed her a bit.  We will see.

Our son has in the past year taken on a lot of responsibility for household chores, so we will have to work a bit harder without him.

Mainly the place will be more quiet, which can be both good and bad.  I think it will be a lonely quiet.  I like our son;  he's good company.

Back From Our Vacation

We've returned from our two week family vacations.  I've always dreaded them as physical ordeals.  The houses are too hot, the beds are uncomfortable, and I just don't sleep well.  At my in-laws, I'm the only morning person so I can't keep up with everyone as they keep going late into the evening.  At my childhood home I'm treated as a 49-year old child.

It's gotten better as the kids have gotten older and more self-sufficient.  When they were younger their neediness just exacerbated everything.  Add an unreliable car to the mix and my stress level went through the roof twice a year.

Now I drive a car that I like better.  The kids are more self-sufficient.  I exercise in the mornings at a gym and get some quiet time.  My smart phone connects me to the outer world, via email, twitter, and facebook.

It's better, but God it's good to be back, and I can't wait to get back to work tomorrow, no matter the size of the pile waiting for me.