End of Semester

Another semester coming to an end. Always stressful even as I know that I will get through it.

Late Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Break is late this term; we only have a week of classes afterward before final exams. That's not really much time to discuss anything new.

For a change I'm on top of class preparation and have my final exams written. I think that I have been a bit more efficient in my work.

Better Organized

For whatever reason I've been feeling better organized for the last month or so. I always have more tasks than time to perform them, so some of that comes from better prioritizing. The opposite of feeling better organized is for me being surprised by a task that I had lost track of, so it may be because I've been doing a better job of keeping tabs on important items. It may also just be a lighter workload because of a lighter course-load. In any event, as someone who derives too much of their self-worth from what they do it's a nice feeling.

Parenting

I can handle the logistics of parenting okay. I was good with changing the diapers. I'm good at driving children.  I can help with most homework.

The emotional stuff, well, I know that I'm a bit abnormal. The things that matter to me don't matter to others and vice versa. It's hard to be supportive when my children are upset about things that don't matter as much in my life.

I'm a good listener, so I switch to that, but many times I have no advice to offer.

Yoga

I went to my first yoga class in decades this morning. I was cautious, as I did not want to hurt myself by being too adventurous when not being as flexible as I used to be. I held back from about 30% of the poses.  It felt good, as if we were targeting areas where I needed help stretching.

I started taking yoga classes in graduate school and really enjoyed it. Immediately I sensed that it was a form of exercise that I could continue when necessary on my own (as maintenance if not growth) as well as continue into old age.

When my first instructor needed surgery she asked me to fill in for her. It was the first teaching I ever did.

It's good to be back. I plan to continue.

Stuff Going Right

It's a busy time of the academic year (four weeks in) but stuff seems to be mostly going right.  I'm sad that at my age I still suffer so much from insecurity but I'm getting stuff done, which has always been my metric.

So much of it is my mood. When I find work that is relatively new to me daunting I avoid it and stay in my comfort zone, mostly class preparation and grading.

One Fewer Organ

While traveling at a conference, I had what I thought were the symptoms of an intestinal virus. Upon returning home I was diagnosed with gallstones that were blocking some ducts as well as a diseased gallbladder.

Their removal was my first non-elective surgery. I can't say that the hospital stay was enjoyable but it wasn't horrific either. As it became easier for me to think clearly I sat and read at a table. Starting up my digestive system again after a couple of weeks off has been interesting but it could have been much worse.  I look forward to working out at the gym again (as of tomorrow) and building back some stamina.

It looks as if I'll have to pay somewhere between $500 and $1000 for the surgery after the insurance does its thing. I am blessed with good health insurance, and keenly aware of how many of my fellow citizens would have had their lives altered to pay for the surgery.

Overworked

It's been over four months ere last I wrote here. The Fall semester was overwhelming in ways that I did not anticipate.

The coursework (three preparations) was intense but not unusually so. I didn't feel able to focus on my committee responsibilities.  I suspect the issue had to do with concerns for my kids.

Both kids have had serious struggles with depression, and now both are at university. My younger child in particular had serious issues that even when I didn't drop everything to help still managed to drain me.